The Bridesmaid from Hell!!!!

 In the interest of full disclosure, I must say that I am not the best bridesmaid a woman could have on her bridal train. In the wedding in question, I bitched about the style of the dress, the updo (which turned out to be quite beautiful if I should say so myself) and the style and color of the shoes.

But what I lacked in bridemaidism-cooperation (if such a term exist), I more than made up for in excitement. I balled my eyes out when the wedding website was unveiled…..and I happened to be on rotations in a damn hospital (folks were wondering why this black chic was crying at work………….trust me, it wasn’t a pretty picture).  I lost composure when I saw her walk down the aisle on her wedding day. And that first dance…………..Lord, did I embarrass myself, and the poor guy sitting next to me.

Okay…………since I have revealed all my sins, I am about to let my wrath out on the bridesmaid who will be referred to as “Bella”.

I have never met anyone who could do nothing right………….that is before I met Bella. Weeks after the wedding, I still can’t figure out if she defied the bride’s orders on purpose or if she was just plain clueless. My gut tells me that no one is that stupid………………..really!!

As part of the bridal train, we were REQUIRED to have an updo, French pedicures, silver peep-toe shoes and a custom made dress……….simple requirements. With requirements this simple, you’d think that your bridesmaids would comply (albeit grudgingly) to your demands. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO…….not Bella!! Did that chic work my last nerves?

She walked into the wedding rehearsal with an updo that looked nothing like what the bride desired. Heck, we found it hard to believe that she was using the updo for the wedding. And this, my dears, began a series of events that ended up irritating even the bride herself.

Saying she did nothing right is the understatement of the year. Instead of French pedicures, she had on some silver nail polish thingy. Her updo was/is a mockery of anything called an updo. Her dress was extremely ill-fitting because she did not have a final fitting. The aso-ebi for the reception was non-existent. Her attitude throughout the wedding was one of selfishness——-nonchalance——lackadaisical——lordcouldIgoonandon

And to top-off it all off, was the shoes…………..god the shoes.  The bride requested silver-metallic shoes, she wore shoes that were akin to black. How does one confuse silver/metallic for black? Who is that stupid/selfish? Apparently Bella is!!!!

Till the day I die, I will never forget the look (should I say shock) on the bride’s face when she saw those shoes.  LOL.  If looks could kill. And  you could see the damn shoes in some of the pictures. She’s lucky the bride is the polite sort. I would have kicked her off my train. Her and that damned groomsman (Look for the Article featuring Ben…………coming soon)

Bella……………lovely Bella. Somewhere during the reception, she melted into oblivion.  Truly, no one knew what became of her after dinner.

While, I am a big advocate of looking hot when on a bridal train. But abegi, to do Bridesmaid no be by force. Them no beg  you to come do bridesmaid. Heck, Bella requested to be one. So if you can’t comply with the wishes of the bride or you find her requests to be too idiotic/demanding/financially draining for you, then get off the damn train.

So, to all the Bellas of this world……………beware the wrath of brides who think like me. Spare us the agony of dealing with your crap…………………..and the annoyance of seeing you ruin my wedding pictures. I paid for the damn wedding pictures. Don’t ruin them, damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!